Jimmy Stewart, Please Eat Me.
Maybe you’ve seen this thing already, but this lovely little gem has been making its rounds across the internet over the past few weeks:
It’s great. Watch it.
But what’s even better is, of course, Rear Window itself. No big news here. Seeing the one thing got me thinking I should watch the real thing again. So I did.
It was great. Watch it again.
Then I remembered that I am in love with Jimmy Stewart. I want his dead bones to rise out of his grave and take me back with him. And that got me thinking about zombies.
Now, I have given the thought of a zombie apocalypse a few moments of my time in the past. Unlike most people who think about their survival tactics and such, I have a different plan altogether. One: it occurred to me that in order to survive, I would probably have to do a lot of running. I’m an ok runner, but even still, I don’t really care to run that much. Two: as far as survival skills go, I’m pretty honest with myself: I’m not gonna survive. So instead of running away from my problems as I usually do in life, my plan is to literally run right at them. One sight of a zombie, and I’m running at that guy, arms open, for the biggest hug I can get before he eats my brains out. If you can’t beat ‘em, might as well join them on friendly terms, right?
So, back to Jimmy. I don’t know anything about zombie apocalypse theory like I’m sure a bunch of nerds do, but I imagine their origin is from some weird virus and it spreads as the zombies themselves do. If that’s it, then I will continue as planned with that immediate hug. But IF this is more of an old school awakening of the dead in which bodies crawl out of their graves, wander the earth, and eat us? Well, then I have a new plan.
I gotta get my ass graveside at Jimmy Stewart’s final resting place as fast as fucking possible so that my dreams may finally come true.
