Dear Upstairs Neighbor,
Let me just cut right to the chase: it is unpleasant living below you.
When I moved in, you did not live above me and it was pleasant. Now you do and it is not.
On a positive note, it doesn’t have to be so terrible.
Perhaps you could try taking your shoes off indoors.
Or, when you go to bed, especially when it is at 3am, try to not make a lot of loud banging noises. Maybe get your dresser fixed because it sounds to me like you have a drawer that is acting difficult.
I’m not quite sure what it is that you’re up to when it sounds like you are throwing yourself right onto the ground, but if that is in fact what you’re doing, I can only imagine that your life (and mine) would be in a better state if you were not heaving your body onto the floor.
There’s really nothing that I can do about your very loud snoring, but it might indicate a sleep disorder that you should get checked out by a doctor.
I am not a doctor. Please consult a professional.
As for your 90s Rock Radio Alarm ft. DJ Advertisements, I would suggest a quieter and more pleasant alarm from your telephone, the same one that I hear buzzing through my ceiling and your floor to alert us both of your numerous text messages.
You must be very popular.
But not popular enough to have the very loud and frequent sex that my previous downstairs neighbor used to have. For that, I thank you.
I hope this has been helpful.
Your neighbor,
#204
